Life's a Dance: Borrowed Angels

Today, October 1st, makes one year that Scotty has been gone. One whole year. They say time heals all wounds. It'll all get better with time. I say that's not true at all. Sure, the shock of losing someone close to you may dissipate over time. But that doesn't make the hurt go away. I still miss him more each day.

Scotty was best friends with my younger brother Kyle for years and years. There was no blood relation, but over time he became part of the family- just another little brother for me. :) At times, Scotty would stay over at our house for so many days in a row that I would start to forget he didn't "officially" live with us.

I took this picture in May of 2009, from the drivers seat of my Jeep. I was all dressed up, getting ready to go to Greenwood for dinner with my best friends, and running late. Scotty and Kyle were running around outside with their friend, Matt. They wouldn't let me leave until I took a picture of them. Of course, they couldn't smile too big- that's just not cool for 7th graders.

Scotty was born with a congenital heart condition. This resulted in him having to be more careful than other boys when playing sports, and he endured a few surgeries over the years, but he never let that hold him back. His heart finally gave out on him late last September, while doing one of the things he loved best: playing football with his friends. He died shortly after, at only 13 years old.

Even after a whole year, it still hasn't completely sunk in that he's gone. Maybe it never will. I can still remember what his voice sounded like, and his laugh. I remember him and Kyle following me through the house, "nagging" me to come see their newest skateboard tricks (I only pretended to be annoyed by this). I remember all of his random jokes and his hilarious sense of humor. I pray that I'll never forget these things.

He was such a sweet, handsome boy. When you think of 13-year-old boys, you typically think of punks who are too cool to talk to anyone but their best friend and middle school girls- not so with Scotty. I always told him he was my favorite out of all of Kyle and Nathan's friends... I definitely meant it!

Kyle had me get on his MySpace account yesterday and retrieve all of his old messages from Scotty. I saved them to a Word document and printed them off for Kyle to keep. I didn't read through everything, trying to respect my little brother's privacy, but a couple funny things jumped out at me. Like when the two of them were talking about how they had more confidence to ask out girls now that they were getting older and taller. Scotty said something along the lines of this:

My hair's longer now. And I'm 5'6". Man, puberty's pimpin'!

I laughed so hard reading that. I was cracking up. I read it aloud to Kari and she started laughing, too. But before I knew it I was bawling. It was the most bizarre mixture of laughter and tears that I have ever experienced... Thinking about Scotty always hurts, but at the same time, I thank God for all of the amazing memories.

Kyle and Scotty's oldest sister, Rosemary, taken yesterday. She flew in from Arizona to be in Columbus with everyone for the one-year anniversary of his death.